


Have You Been Waiting Long

by lieano



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AsaNoya Day, Depression, First Kiss, Happy Ending, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 04:56:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18004205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lieano/pseuds/lieano
Summary: Asahi's life has always been covered in a fog. Little bit little, Noya will help him chip away at it until he can learn to love himself. What will Asahi find waiting for him when the fog finally clears?





	Have You Been Waiting Long

**Author's Note:**

> Happy 3/4!! I wanted to write a fun fluffy asanoya one shot based off this song: https://youtu.be/ncI1ZJJIUzU, but I ended up writing a fic about depression instead lol! Whoops! It's got a happy ending at least. Sorry this isn’t an update of any of the other asanoya fics I have in progress but thank you for reading this one if you are :) Happy asanoya day~

**I.**

Asahi was sure there was a time when the gym wasn’t blanketed in a fog. It wouldn’t make any sense to him if it had always been like this. He would have never joined the team if being here had always made him feel so apprehensive. And if he had never joined the team, he would never have had to quit, which had filled his well up with anxiety. No, things probably would have been better if he had never had a dream, if he had never thought he was any good. If he had never even tried. 

He came back to volleyball because it was fun. And when he was out on the court with his friends, jumping and running and pushing his body to the limit, he was fine. The strain in his muscles felt freeing, the sweat rolling down his face felt electrifying. But the second he was off the court, he was right back in the fog, questioning everything. 

“Good job today, everybody,” Daichi said as the team shuffled to the locker room. “Asahi, your form was incredible. Keep it up.” 

Daichi’s smile was sincere. He clapped Asahi on the shoulder, but it did nothing to assure him. In fact, it just made him aware of how much space he was still taking up. He shrugged in an effort to cover up the fact that he was cringing, and said, “Yeah, thanks.” 

As soon as the ball was out of Asahi’s hands, so was his confidence. Daichi or anyone else could compliment him all they wanted. The fog was impenetrable. He would never believe them. Surely he had just said that to be nice because Daichi was a good friend and a good team captain. 

Asahi was the ‘ace’, but he wasn’t really sure how he got that label. Maybe pity? Because he used to be the tallest guy on the team? It was the only reason they kept him in the main rotation, for sure. If he hadn’t come back, would Suga be allowed to play more? Or one of the poor benchwarmer second years? Or even Yamaguchi? 

The ache and sweat all over his body shifted from sweet endorphins to pain and heaviness. He curled his arms around his torso to make himself as small as possible, lagging behind the rest of the team as he tried. Coming back had been a mistake. He wondered it all the time, but today he was sure of it. He was just holding everyone back. The fog was suffocating. 

“Asahi!” Asahi had been preparing for some light hyperventilation to overcome him, but his next breath caught in his throat, effectively foiling that plan. His heart did a stupid little flutter. Naturally he had a lot to cover up when he turned to face Noya. He was certain his weak smile was not enough, he just wondered which of his raw emotions Noya would pick up on. If he had to choose between the self loathing and the small crush… Actually he would rather die than Noya notice either, so he just smiled wider. 

“What’s up?” he said, trying to sound cheery. Maybe he could blame the shakiness on fatigue. 

“Whoa. Are you okay?” Noya asked. He rushed up to Asahi and Asahi had the brief notion that he wanted to press the back of his hand to Asahi’s forehead, but held back. “You look pale.” 

“Just tired,” Asahi shrugged. “Coach really pushed us today.” 

Noya nodded, but he didn’t look any more satisfied with the answer. His bottom lip jutted out in a little pout. It was so cute, it almost distracted Asahi from the ‘you’re disappointing him’ thoughts creeping in through the fog. Almost. 

“Well I was gonna ask if, since there’s still sunlight outside, if you wanted to go to the park and practice a little more? But if you’re tired, you should rest. What would we do if our ace sprained something?” 

Noya was smiling and even half laughing by the time he finished his thought. He was a pretty naturally cheerful person, but a little voice in the fog reminded Asahi that he was just putting on a show to not make him feel as bad that he was letting Noya down because he couldn’t keep up with his own team. 

Or at least, it tried to. 

Noya’s little grin was so small in the grand scheme of the cosmos, but to Asahi it was a beacon. It broke through some of the fog, just some of it. Something fluttered in his stomach, a butterfly of hope. He had an excuse laying right in front of him to spend more time with Noya. And he was a fool with a crush. What was he going to do, say no? 

“Oh I’m not… THAT tired. I can go to the park with you.” 

Noya’s smile was the sun and a cloud had just moved from in front of it. It was illuminating, warming. And despite everything that he usually thought about himself, it made Asahi face the facts. Noya could have asked for extra practice time with _anyone_. Tanaka, Ennoshita, Hinata. But he asked Asahi. Because Asahi, believe or not, was good at playing volleyball. He was the ace of Karasuno, and he was a valuable member of the team. 

**II.**

It hadn’t started out as a good day. The fog had been pressing in around Asahi with a particular ferocity, making him feel especially slimy. He didn’t have school, thank god. He didn’t feel like wearing his uniform. But they did have a team meeting later that night. Everyone would be in their street clothes, and knowing everyone ‘street clothes’ just meant shorts and tshirts. Karasuno High’s volleyball team was not known for their fashion sense. Maybe no one would notice that Asahi was wearing a dirty old hoodie that was too gigantic even for him. 

Asahi ran his fingers down a length of his brown hair as he looked at himself in the mirror. He hadn’t done anything with himself all day. He’d meant to take a bath, but that had somehow eluded him. He was unshaven and there were little bags under his eyes. Asahi looked at the toothbrush sitting dormant in its cup. He should bring himself to do that at least. He kept staring at it, unmoving. 

He was late to the meeting and not any cleaner to show for it. He hoped that the hoodie, at least, swallowed up some of his mass. He was too self conscious of how he must stink and he knew how much space he took up. He was all to aware of it most days, actually. The stink would be inescapable. When he made it to the high school, Asahi hesitated. Maybe he should’ve text Daichi to tell him he was sick. Make up a lie. Go back home and go to bed. Then no one would have to look at him or smell him. He’d be doing a service to the team. 

Just as he was about to turn around, the door to the gym opened and a little orange head of hair flashed into the darkening night. “Ah! Asahi-San is here!” Hinata yelled over his shoulder back into the room. The door opened wider and there was Suga, hands on hips, glaring at him with an expression that basically said ‘And just where have you been young man?’ 

“Sorry I'm late,” Asahi said, his voice trembling. He swallowed and took in a few deep breaths. He would just sit in the back. Far away from everyone. Locker rooms were naturally smelly anyway, maybe no one would be able to pin it on him. 

In the back of the room there was a window. He could sit under it and maybe the breeze would take some of his shame away. Asahi shuffled his way to the back, shoulders hunched and arms deep in his hoodie pocket. He didn’t take long strides, making sure that his massive body was as compact as possible at all times. Ukai nodded at him, but otherwise paid him no mind and began his speech. A few of the guys turned to glance at Asahi, but no one lingered their attention on him. Good. He could slip into the background, become invisible. 

For a delicate moment, Asahi felt out his space. He was a couple feet back from the person right in front of him, his hoodie was huge and containing all of his mass and smell. His legs were pulled up to his chest for minimum space he took up. He was out of the way. He dared to relax, leaning against the wall and letting his head roll back onto the windowsill behind him. He didn't even notice swift Noya leap from where he was sitting cross legged toward the front and dart back to him. 

Asahi almost shouted when he looked up and saw Noya sitting in the windowsill. But Noya just flashed his teeth in a grin. He didn’t say a word. He settled himself behind Asahi’s head and released his greasy bun from its prison. 

A cold dread washed through Asahi. Of all the people to be sitting in his musk, running his fingers through his unwashed hair, of _course_ it was Noya. Asahi would have been impressed with his bravery if he weren’t so completely mortified. 

“Noya, you should-” 

“Azumane, please pay attention!” snapped Ukai from the front. He had started to play a video. It looked like footage from a recent practice match. “This one concerns you too.” 

Asahi bit his lip and tilted his head back to look at Noya. There was a little glint of mischief in his golden eyes. He put a finger to his lips and pointed to the screen. Asahi sighed heavily and turned his attention back to the front. 

Of course, try as he might, he couldn't focus on anything volleyball related. Not with Noya’s thin, nimble fingers stroking through his hair. He wished he could see Noya’s face. Was he grimacing? Laughing? The stroking never stopped though. His hair moved this way and that, and every tug at his roots just alerted him to how terribly dirty he was. 

When the video was over, Ukai asked a single question and within seconds the first years were all screaming over each other. Typical mayhem ensued. Asahi tried to astral project far from this place, but a gust of air in his ear grounded him before he could get too far away. 

“I’m done,” Noya whispered. 

Asahi wanted to ask what he was done with, but he had his answer before he could form the question. A little braid flopped over his left shoulder. It was even garnished with tiny white wildflowers. They were a little crushed, like Noya had carried them in his pocket for a while. Asahi picked at the edge of the tail and grinned. His hair didn’t even look greasy anymore the way it was woven together. 

“I was thinking about this the whole way here,” Noya said just an octave louder. He tilted away so that Asahi could meet his gaze when he twisted his head. When their eyes locked, a little bit of the fog lifted. His heart didn’t feel so heavy. He didn’t feel so self conscious. “You have really cool hair and I almost never get to see it outside of the bun. I didn’t want to waste this opportunity.” 

Asahi couldn’t take his hand off of the little burst of hair poking out from the ponytail holder at the end. He kept fiddling with it, a new bashful habit. It was better than curling into himself, he supposed. 

The flowers would have to come out when he took a bath that night, now that he had a new wave of motivation to do so. But maybe he would try the braid another day soon. He did feel better about himself in it. 

**III.**

New Years was usually Asahi’s favorite time of the year. It was his favorite holiday, symbolizing new beginnings which he felt always in need of. It was his best friend’s birthday. It was his own birthday. The week surrounding New Years was full of celebration and tradition and hope. Or at least, it had been in the past. 

This year, New Years crept up on Asahi like the killer in a slasher movie that had been torturously delaying the enviable. The world was a year older and he with it. And the future they were headed towards seemed so bleak. He wasn’t sure he wanted to celebrate himself. 

All for the better, really, because he was _certain_ Daichi was getting fed up sharing his special day with Asahi. He was a day older, after all, he had earned the right to a holiday birthday before Asahi had. Infant Asahi had been pretty arrogant to slide in and take New Years Day itself from a guy who would become so close to him. 

What further pushed Asahi’s point that he was just an unnecessary burden on his friends was earlier that week, when making plans, Daichi had called him ‘grumpy goatee’. Asahi had been lost in thought, probably frowning since he seemed to do that a lot these days, and Daichi had huffed and called him one of his many infamous names and ordered him to stop being so gloomy. Suga had joined in and before Asahi knew it, his friends were heckling him, reminding him exactly how they felt about him. They never said it outloud, but he could tell by the way he was always the butt of their jokes. He was little more than an accessory, a pity addition to their third year inner circle. 

Asahi wasn’t going to bring up his birthday and he hoped no one else did either. He didn’t want to celebrate it. That was final. So naturally, when Daichi had announced they would be practicing on January 1st despite the holiday, Asahi was thrilled. He would have an excuse to dodge his family and all celebrations in general. Maybe his friends had forgotten. That would be ideal. 

He was late to practice, of course. He was late to everything these days. But he was hoping no one had noticed. In fact, when he walked up to the gym doors, everything was dark and quiet inside. Asahi fretted for a moment that he had forgotten what time they were meeting and had missed it entirely. He pushed open the door, hoping that maybe they were all in the locker room or- 

“Surprise!” The sound of the entire Karasuno volleyball team yelling at once nearly blew Asahi over. He braced himself against one door and yelped. ‘Surprised’ was not the emotion he would have used to describe himself in that moment. Frightened, maybe. 

The gym was decorated in orange streamers and black balloons. There was a table covered in treats with an enormous three tier cake at the head of it all. The volleyball net was set up, but no one was in gym clothes. And the whole team was there, half of them holding poppers that they had already deployed in Asahi’s face. 

He couldn’t help the grin that started to overcome him, but he cleared his throat. “Wh-What is… For me?” 

Daichi removed himself from the huddle and clapped an arm heavily around Asahi’s back. “You weren’t expecting it right?” he said, grinning cheekily. “We totally got you.” 

“No, yeah, you got me,” Asahi laughed nervously. “But, what about your-” 

Daichi blew a raspberry and waved the half formed sentence away like it was a bug. “I celebrated with my family yesterday. This isn’t about me, it’s about you! Enjoy it!” 

“Um, Asahi-San, I’m so glad you made it,” came Hinata’s voice. He looked almost bashful as he quickly said, “We got you a plate of meat buns from the convenience store and they’re gonna get cold so-” 

“Go, Hinata,” Daichi said with a laugh. “You’ve waited long enough.” 

Hinata was gone in a flash and the rest of the team dispersed. 

“I’m sorry,” Asahi said to his friends as Daichi and Suga lingered behind with him. He was still processing what was happening. “Were you waiting a long time? I would have hurried if I’d known but… This is so much you guys didn’t have to-” 

Daichi held up a hand, clearly determined to not let Asahi finish one self-deprecating thought. “We wanted to do this. It's your golden birthday.” 

Asahi quirked an eyebrow. Either Daichi didn’t know what a golden birthday was or… Or he was calling Asahi a baby. Actually, that was pretty on brand. It all made sense now. His friends had thrown him a whole surprise party to remind him that he was a whiny, no good child. He’d done something to earn it, he was sure. 

Just as the despair was starting to settle on his shoulders, Suga put a hand on one of them in such a way that his arm blocked his mouth from the rest of the team, who didn’t seem interested at all and were very much tearing apart the snack table. “Think of this as a rebirth. We know you’ve been having a hard time lately. We’re not _totally_ oblivious. But we’re graduating this year and everything is going to start fresh for us. So, a rebirth. The first birthday of the rest of your life! Make sense? Are you mad?” 

Asahi looked between his two friends. They had noticed? He hadn’t really heard it put in those words yet. That he was ‘having a hard time’. He supposed it was true. He was sad pretty often. And they had noticed and taken action. They set up a whole birthday party just to make him feel special. Maybe… Maybe he wasn’t a nuisance to his friends after all. 

“I’m not mad,” Asahi said, wearing the most genuine smile he had in a long while. “How can I be when there’s this huge… That cake is enormous, actually, who made it?” 

“Kiyoko did!” Suga said brightly, summoning the last third year to their group. 

Kiyoko smiled warmly when Asahi thanked her, but she held up a hand. “It was for a good cause. Besides, I had help.” 

Asahi followed her gaze to where the rest of the team was gathered, piling treats on flimsy paper plates. And for the first time that evening he noticed that Noya was staring at him. Had he been staring long? As soon as their eyes locked, Noya grinned as if he hadn’t been doing anything wrong and gave Asahi a thumbs up. Asahi smiled sheepishly and gave one back. Then he turned to Kiyoko again. 

“Noya helped you?” 

Kiyoko nodded. “He helped with the whole party actually. It was kind of his idea. He came to us with it a couple of weeks ago.” 

“Yeah,” Daichi huffed quietly, crossing his arms and grinning like a proud dad. “He’s a good kid that one.” 

Asahi really hoped his friends didn’t notice the heat that had risen in his cheeks. He was flattered, of course, that Noya would think of him like this. But the emotions it stirred in him were silly and useless. At least Noya had been able to spend a day with _his_ crush making the cake. Asahi smiled softly to himself, imagining, even hoping, that he’d had a good time. 

“For what it's worth,” Suga said suddenly, pulling Asahi from his bittersweet musings. “I _tried_ to make the cake. The first attempt didn’t really stick though. Turns out, I’m a pretty lousy cook.” 

“It was a big a surprise,” Daichi chimed in. “Seeing as you’re so…” 

Suga shot a quick glare at Daichi. “I dare you to finish that sentence.” 

“Matronly?” Asahi guessed, innocently. 

Suga pounced on Daichi at once and they were wrestling with reckless abandon. Daichi yelled “I didn’t say it, Asahi did!” and Suga shouted back, “It’s his special day so you get to take the punishment!” 

Asahi couldn’t help but laugh at the chaos that ensued. It was funny, of course, but he laughed with relief most of all. The sarcasm, the jokes and jabs, they weren’t subtle clues his friends were dropping to let him know he wasn’t really wanted. It was a sign of how comfortable they were. That they trusted each other with their sense of humor. And as a little more of the fog dissipated, he had to admit. He was so blessed to have friends that loved him. 

**IV.**

The most terrible thing about Asahi’s anxiety was that his mother had looked so proud when she handed him the envelope. He had been rushing out the door, and maybe she thought that it would lift his spirits about the training camp or give him something to look forward to. She had no idea how much he worried about this exact scenario. 

He sat in the back of the bus, silent, staring at the unopened envelope in his hands. He hadn’t blinked in a while and his eyes were starting to water. It was going to get bad soon. He just had to open it. There was literally a 50/50 outcome and no matter how much he stared at it, that wasn’t going to change. 

The problem with the outcome was that Asahi wasn’t sure what he wanted. If it was a rejection letter, he would have to apply to a new college all over again. The process had been tough on him. Anxiety central. He had just barely turned the papers in on time. He did not want to go through that again. But if it was an acceptance, well that wasn’t much better. An acceptance meant interviews and more phone calls. Aka, more anxiety. 

He really didn’t want to blame his mother. She had no way of knowing what kind of grief the college searching process was giving him. But he wished so fiercely that she had given it to him _not_ when he was rushing out the door to spend a weekend away with the volleyball team. He wished she had given it to him on a random school night, when he could lock himself in his room and freak out as much as he wanted. 

His hands were trembling. He had torn a corner off of the envelope. He kept his head low, afraid that someone would look back and see the fear in his eyes. He already knew his friends were being more perceptive of his mood. What if a first year noticed? God forbid, he couldn’t stand their pity. 

He didn’t have to worry about a first year noticing, evidently. It was one particular second year that always noticed everything that he had to worry about. But it was too late. Noya slid into the back seat with him and nudge him with a shoulder. 

“Hey,” he hissed, his voice low. “You okay, bud?” 

“Yes,” Asahi whimpered. Then, after hearing his own voice crack he amended, “Actually, no. I’m freaking out.” 

He couldn’t believe he was being so candid with Noya. But there it was. He had said it and he couldn’t go back. Noya looked down at the envelope, probably read who it was from, and looked back up at Asahi. “If you gotta have a moment of privacy, you can lay on my shoulder. Everyone will think you’re taking a nap. It’s early. I’ll vouch for you.” 

Asahi was appalled. Not even considering the physical limitations of someone as tall as Asahi slouching to lean on Noya… His very straight crush was offering to cuddle with him? There was no way that was a good cover, surely it would make them more conspicuous. But no, actually, Asahi looked up and around the bus. Several people were leaning on their seat mates for support as they stole a couple extra hours of sleep. Tanaka was sprawled out between the two seats he had been sharing with Noya moments ago, snoring. Most people were sleeping or occupied, no one would notice or care. 

His heart was thudding. This was so much. But it was also something he would probably remember forever. It's not like Noya was ever going to date him, shouldn’t he take advantage of this one moment? Would it be greedy to do so? 

Probably, but it would probably also give him the courage to open his envelope. 

Asahi swallowed and his throat felt like knives. “You sure?” 

Noya grinned, that easy comforting smile that melted Asahi’s frosted heart. “Of course. I won’t even ask about what's inside letter if you don’t want me to.” 

And with that, Noya sat up straighter, nestling his shoulders into the seat. He tried to make himself as tall as possible, so that Asahi wouldn’t have to slouch so low, but actually Asahi didn’t mind. He found comfort in the little ball he managed to curl himself into. His legs braced against the empty seat in front of him. His head dipped to the side until it found Noya’s small bony shoulder. It wasn't a great pillow… But it was still nice in its own way. 

When he was situated, Asahi took a deep breath and broke open the seal. 

_Dear Mr. Azumane,_

 _We are delighted to inform you-_

Asahi scanned the letter quickly after those first few heart stopping words. It was okay. He had been accepted. Well, almost accepted. He made it passed the first round. Now he’d have to do interviews and all that. His heart was pounding. 

Asahi sighed greatly and leaned into Noya a little more, barely aware of himself as he spiraled deep into his thoughts. It wasn’t the first time he was wondering if he was making a right move with this college. It was highly competitive and he didn’t even quite know what he wanted to do after high school. They had a volleyball team but… He couldn’t just rely on volleyball forever. He was good, he had forced himself to admit that. But he wasn’t _that_ good. Probably. 

Truthfully, Asahi didn’t know who he was outside of volleyball. He was a student, a son, a friend. None of those were careers. What did _he_ want to do? The question filled him with dread. His noncommittal answer to it had always frustrated his career counselor at school. Now he was a step closer to getting into this prestigious, _expensive_ school. He didn’t want to waste it. He had to figure it out soon. 

He was taken out of his thoughts when something shifted against his side. Noya had moved the arm he was laying on and had grabbed Asahi’s free hand. He squeezed it gently and looked down at Asahi with wide golden eyes. “It's okay, Asahi. You’ll make it into the next one.” 

“Oh,” Asahi said, realizing what his body language must look like. “No, I got in.” 

“What?” Noya asked, blinking. “That’s great!” 

“Well, kind of. I have to go for an interview now and…” 

He didn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t need to. Noya was silent for a minute, then said, “Tonight, after practice and dinner and all that, you wanna practice interviewing?” 

Asahi looked up, stunned again. “Really?” 

“Sure! We can steal a few snacks, go up to the roof where no one will find us. I’ll show you how confident you can be.” Noya was smiling at him like someone whose job it was to draw confidence out of others. Heavens knew, he had more confidence than most people Asahi knew. He appeared to be bursting at the seams with it, actually. He probably had some valuable insight. 

Plus, there was the idea of spending more time with Noya, alone, just the two of them. His hand was tingling and there was something loose in his guts, fluttering around uselessly. 

“Okay,” Asahi said, grinning. “Thank you. In advance.” 

“No need to thank me,” Noya said, settling back into the chair and closing his eyes. He was still holding Asahi’s hand. Maybe he really did plan to nap like this? “I’ve made it my life's mission to show you your worth. I’ll make you see. You can do anything you set your mind to, Asahi. You're amazing.” 

And for a breath, Asahi believed it. And a little more of the fog left, and he felt warm. 

**V.**

Two years later, Asahi was doing okay. He wasn’t really ‘having a hard time’ anymore. Sure, there were bad days. But the fog had cleared from his life. The gym where he played volleyball with his college team was overflowing with colors and joy. He was growing into his own body and it was much easier to find the motivation to take care of himself. He shared an apartment with Suga, who was going to the same school he was, and Daichi was just a train ride away. He had new friends and faced new challenges every day, but those two kept him grounded and gave him something familiar to latch on to when it all got too overwhelming. He was surrounded by love and support. And the future was so bright. For the first time in a long time, Asahi felt the comforting presence of hope all around him. 

Probably the most exciting thing about his new life, in Asahi’s opinion, was that when we came out everyone was incredibly joyful for him. Suga even did some digging and found a GSA on campus that he wanted Asahi to visit. He hadn’t gathered up the nerve yet, but it was nice to know that his friends were supportive. And he would go soon. He was looking forward to meeting other like-minded people, maybe meeting someone, maybe putting his long suffering crush on Yuu Nishinoya behind him. 

So when he planned a weekend trip to visit home and Noya, who had stayed in Karasuno to work after high school, texted him to invite him out to dinner, Asahi wasn’t nervous or worried at all. He was excited, actually. Excited to test out his newfound confidence and give a whack at finally being only platonically interested in the straightest guy he’d ever known. 

Asahi had literally never been more sure of himself. Until a small bouquet of wildflowers was pressed into his chest. 

Noya was beaming at him from the otherside of the flowers and Asahi just blinked, confused, as he took the bouquet. “Thanks, Noya… Uh, it’s good to see you.” 

“Yeah!” Noya said, bouncing on his heels a little. He was going to explode with excitement, Asahi could feel it radiating off of him in droves. “It’s been so long! I missed you!” 

Asahi couldn’t help but smile. Noya’s grin was infectious. It was so brilliant, actually. Had it always been that gorgeous? His stomach flopped and Asahi swallowed. He wasn't supposed to have those feelings for Noya anymore. He had to set them aside. He sniffed the flowers to distract himself and found that it was a very bad decision. Not because they smelled bad, quite the opposite actually. He was just… so confused. 

Be brave, he told himself. “What are these for?” 

“Suga told me you passed your exam last week,” Noya shrugged. “I felt like a celebration was in order. By the way, dinner's on me tonight. Come on, I’m starved.” 

He clapped Asahi’s shoulder as he passed him, letting his touch linger just a little longer than necessary. Asahi noticed. Even though he was wearing a long sleeved shirt, his skin tingled from the sensation. 

They were seated and given menus and for a while Asahi tried to focus on the task of deciding what he wanted to eat. But that could only go so far. Noya was being distracting. He was fidgeting. Not unusual for Noya, he was a guy who had always had to be moving or doing something. But his fidgeting was… different. He was adjusting his shirt sleeves and his collar every few minutes, as if trying keeping his clothes straight and proper. He kept fussing with his hair, making sure it was in place. Every once in a while he’d steal a glance at Asahi, and if he was caught he would grin and immediately turn back to his menu. 

He was nervous. No, worse than that. He was _blushing_. 

It was like Asahi was watching Noya in technicolor for the first time in his life. The glow of his skin, the little pink twinge in the tip of his ears. Asahi quickly and fiercely rifled through his mind, searching for memories of this from high school. Had Noya always looked at him with such admiration, with his golden eyes twinkling as if he was gazing at the stars? Had he always found it impossible to do anything with his hands, twitching with the need to reach out and grab Asahi? Had Asahi never noticed because all of those years he was trapped in a fog, thinking himself unworthy of any kind of love? 

The shock of it ripped through Asahi in a nanosecond and before he could think through his actions, he threw his hands down on the table and stood up. A few people around them flinched, but Noya didn’t. He stayed perfectly calm and set his menu down, giving Asahi his full attention. His eyes flickered as they searched Asahi, fiercely interested in every emotion going through him. It was all too much. It filled Asahi up until there was no more room for the words and they spilled out of him in a soft, trembling whisper. 

“Noya, how long? How long have you been in love with me?” 

Conversation at the table nearest to them stopped. For a moment, Asahi’s world did too. Noya’s mouth fell open in slow motion. But before Asahi could back track or question himself, he was laughing. A loud, musical note that brought noise back into the restaurant. Noya laughed louder and louder with every intake of breath until Asahi couldn’t stand it anymore and he chuckled too. His shoulders started to shake. The nerves went right out him, jostled away by the infectious mirth. 

“Damn, Asahi,” Noya said around a laugh. “It’s about time!” 

It was the most beautiful sentence Asahi had ever heard. 

From there, dinner was alarmingly easy. Noya replayed high school for Asahi, scene by scene. All those years Asahi had been pining for Noya were reciprocated. All of the little kindnesses Noya had done for him, just let him know he wasn’t alone. They were gestures of love. The purest kind of love, because Noya had never expected anything in return. Asahi’s heart was overflowing. He had never felt such unbridled joy, never in his life felt so validated. 

When they left the restaurant it was dark. As if it was the most natural thing in the world, Noya slipped his hand down Asahi’s arm and laced their fingers together. They walked in silence for a couple of blocks, just enjoying the feel of each other nearby, glancing at each other occasionally to take in their mutual smiles. 

Finally they reached a lamp post and in the spotlight Asahi pulled Noya to a stop, facing him with his hands on either of Noya’s shoulders. His cheeks were red, but so were Noya’s. They were in this together. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?” 

“It’s okay,” Noya said, shaking his head, but continuing to smile. “I wanted it to be perfect, but you had to learn to love yourself first. I helped as much as I could but… You’ve come a long way on your own, Asahi. I’m proud of you.” 

Among all of the butterflies and fireworks and other nonsense happening inside of Asahi, a flower bloomed just then. He couldn’t even describe the emotion. Clarity. Bliss. Stability. All of that and more. 

He brought up a hand and brushed his fingers along the edges of Noya’s hair until his hand was on the back of his neck. They were standing so close. “Have you been waiting long?” he asked in a murmur. 

“I would have waited a lifetime for you,” Noya murmured back. And Asahi could taste the truth of it in the kiss that followed. 

The fog had finally lifted completely. So even though the night was dark, Asahi’s future had never looked so bright.


End file.
